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Sound.

It is the eternal struggle and the eternal mystery, and right now it is a struggle. Have you ever known precisely what you want? Where down to the very tiniest detail you knew?

Well, I do. Right now. I know what I want, but it refuses to happen.

Something is wrong with the sound. Where it should be big, hollow, empty and a fair bit intimidating, it just sounds sharp. No matter what I do. I fear heavy rewriting will be needed, but I do not want that. I like the elements in it so far. It’s organic, imposing, almost sexy if I dear say so. It is placed high on my increasingly long list of musical pieces to finish for my next release.

But then there is this sound. This empty hall where instruments are violated in order to produce tonal pleasure.

It keeps escaping me.

My overall perspective on how everything should be presented has changed in recent years. I’ve always distorted things, but it has still remained somehow “pretty”.

Now I can’t distort it enough. It can’t be cold, distant or unpleasant enough. I don’t want perfection, I want the opposite. I want instruments that sound like they’ve died, and now they’re just being tortured.

And it needs to be performed in a big empty hall, with large shadows surrounding you, where you have only half an inch of a flickering candle left to keep you company.

I’ll get there.

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